


love is a losing game

by crystalcities



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Crying, Feelings Realization, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unresolved Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 11:36:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18893833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalcities/pseuds/crystalcities
Summary: Max needed to work out his feelings.





	love is a losing game

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write about Max crying. I'm sorry!

Max barely made it back to his driver room before he couldn't hold the tears back. He slid down to the floor against the back of the door and put his head between his knees. The race weekend was already bad with his engine failure, and he hadn't quite gotten over the frustration, before he was called to a team meeting and Daniel announced that he's leaving the team to drive for... Renault? The very company that made the engine that kept failing on him? He couldn't understand it, and for some reason his immediate response was to storm out of the room, overwhelmed, tears pricking the backs of his eyes.

He tried to take a few deep breaths to steady himself, but only succeeded in letting it out in shuddery gasps as tears spilled from his eyes. On top of everything, he couldn't understand why he's crying.

Somebody was knocking on the door. There was absolutely no way he's answering. He kept trying to get his emotions under control, when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

_Daniel: Can I come in?_

This confused Max even more. Why was he there? But he already typed a reply before he could think it through. _Is anybody else with you?_

The reply came immediately: _No, just me._

Max got up, wiped at his cheeks with the back of his hand, and opened the door. Daniel was on the other side, phone in hand, and his expression softened for a split second when he saw Max, but he quickly caught himself. Max knew he looked a mess, and he didn't like to seem vulnerable, but he's not making good decisions right now. Daniel quickly stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Max sat down on the bench and put his head down again, unable to stop the tears for more than a few seconds . Daniel sighed, and sat down as well, leaving a foot of space in between them, but placed a hand on Max's shoulder.

"You alright?" Daniel said softly.

How was Max supposed to answer this question? Of course he's not all right. "Yes," he said immediately, then "no," much quieter.

Daniel sighed again, and moved his hand away. Max felt warm through his shirt where Daniel was touching him, and it added to the overwhelming mix of emotions that he couldn't work through right now.

"I know you had a bad weekend," Daniel tried, clearly knowing that's an inadequate thing to say, but kept trying: "I know you're frustrated and I've had my share of problems too, and thinking about them isn't going to help your next race..."

"Why are you leaving?" Max interrupted, blurting out the first question that he didn't realize was the top question he had. He sat up and made eye contact with Daniel, tears falling every time he blinked. Daniel opened his mouth as if to answer, but Max interrupted again, voice breaking.

"Is it because of me?" Max thought about all the times he'd out-qualified Daniel this year, how much he wanted to be the no. 1 driver, all the statements Christian and Marko had made about investing in him. He liked all of that, but he didn't think it would affect his teammate/rival, not until now. And why did he care, anyways?

Daniel reached across that self-imposed space again, this time to gently wipe at Max's wet cheeks. "You're pretty cute but not everything is about you, Max," he said with a soft smile. Whether it's from the joking comment that Max took way too seriously, or being uncomfortable about showing so much vulnerability, or Daniel's touch, he blushed involuntarily and broke eye contact, looking at the space between them instead. He trembled a bit while he tried not to really cry.

"Maxy, c'mere," Daniel angled himself to face Max, and closed the space between them. Max resisted for a moment before letting Daniel pull him close, his head in the crook of Daniel's neck. He took a deep breath, still overwhelmed but now even more so with Daniel so close, he could feel his curls on his face, softer than he thought (and why had he thought about this?). Daniel smelled good, he thought, a clean scent of aftershave and a musky scent underneath. Daniel was so close, and Max felt like he wanted something he couldn't name, and it was all too much for him.

Daniel rubbed soothing circles on Max's shoulders as he let Max cry in his arms, shivering hard whenever his sobs overcame him. Daniel's seen Max angry, frustrated, and sad after bad races, and he's always kept an appropriate distance while Max worked out his issues. Despite the on-track rivalry they liked each other well enough and kept a good professional relationship, but it's been too hard to not acknowledge what's going on underneath the surface between them, or more specifically what's going on with Max when it comes to him. That had nothing to do with Daniel's decision to leave the team, but he couldn't ignore Max's reaction.

After a while Max calmed down. He's still clinging to Daniel and Daniel let him, Max still trying to work out his feelings, but afraid to disturb this delicate balance they're in right now. He wanted something from Daniel that he didn't understand how to ask for and was too afraid to anyways, and he'd been OK with infinitely prolonging this stalemate, assuming that when he signed a new contract, Daniel would too. He couldn't help himself testing the limits of that professional relationship sometimes, always trying to cover the attempt under the excuse of Daniel's flirty nature rubbing off on him. But now it needed to come to a resolution, with Max wanting more beyond this relationship between coworkers that would fall apart next year, and even if there was something else how would they manage being bitter rivals on-track and whatever it was that he wanted?

Max pushed himself up a little so he could look at Daniel properly, feeling like he's on the precipice of something. They looked at each other for a few long seconds, something hanging in between them. They both started to say something, and at the same time somebody started knocking on the door.

Max extracted himself from Daniel's arms just in time for his trainer to open the door.

"Max, I just want to make sure you're OK..." he started, trailing off as he took in the scene in the room.

Daniel took the opportunity to straighten up, adjusting his shirt and Max couldn't help but notice the way Daniel ran his fingers over the soaked-through fabric that he was crying on, and blushed heavily.

"Well, I better get going," Daniel clapped Max on the shoulder and went back to his side of the room. Max stared out his doorway as Daniel's door clicked shut, nothing resolved, nothing begun.


End file.
